my punished!!!!!

I think the love in my life, there will be more than a mere illusion and silly,asthat for some, it is like a dream or even a godsend in my life, this feeling has only brought me pain, loneliness and much suffering.so many times,  I do not think! I was born to love and not be loved by anyone!I feel that love for me is like a kind of curse! if I approach someone and try to show you what I bring here inside me, what really saved it in my heart, as if there is some sort of disgust, for it me, I resigned in my corner, I follow my path, even alone, I feel like a punishment for something I have done in other lives,I may have done much harm to someone in past lives and now, in this current reality, is being punished, or receiving some kind of punishment to appease what I did!still do not quite understand why it's so lonely, but I know that I will live alone for the rest of my life!many times, I am among the people and still feel an emptiness, as if I missed a part, just that it would complete me and make me feel whole again!I know I'm dreaming of all the dreams, illusions are meaningless and the words mean nothing.and miracles, well, I know they even exist! for others, not for me!my life is like a river dried up, like a torn tissue, an old toy that no one wants more! I am as an undesirable if someone does not want other people around!I am part of a forgotten dream that became the most horrible nightmare .i m an insignificant grain of sand on a deserted beach a wave heedless, has not seen! know I'm not much of anything, but I know I'm all of nothing! short, I am no one to whom it may want or be interested.but live like the world forgot, I forgot I do not know the world or the world was that I forgot!would be important in the life and dreams, and desires of someone, but I know my life is summed up only in silence, which is the only companion I have, and the loneliness that is the only friend who is always here with me!Love? I do not know if you ever meet you! if anyone knows who he is or where is. shows or shows me, tell me what it actually does in people's lives, still do not know it just felt, but, unfortunately, never lived!, all the wounds he caused me, even bleed a lot and will take a long time to heal for complet! not yet know whether or not to take it one day happen.